4 Feb

One of my huge dreams for 2012 is to start educating church leaders about domestic violence.  It is epidemic in our culture, but the church is largely silent.  Here are some figures:

1.  1 in 4 women will be subjected to domestic violence in her lifetime in the USA.

2.  8 women are killed each day in the United States by their intimate partners.

3.  Around 1.3 million women are abused each year in the United States.

And this is where my dream begins…


There are about 300,000 churches in the United States today.  What if every pastor in our country decided that enough was enough, and recruited 4 or 5 families in his/her church to be refuges for the abused?  If that happened, our culture would be radically changed because suddenly women would have anonymous and safe places to go.  Abusers would know that they could no longer manipulate gullible pastors into believing their lies.  Domestic violence activists and shelters would start to see churches as what they should have always been: safe places for victims of abuse.

If this moves your heart, I need you to speak up.  Tomorrow after church, please email your pastor and ask to have a meeting to talk about this issue that destroys the lives of 1/4 of all of the women that you’ll see at church tomorrow.  We owe it to them.  Tell your pastor to go to http://documenttheabuse.com  It details the ground-breaking work we are doing to rescue women from abuse.

If your pastor doesn’t seem to take interest, be persistent.  The only thing we can do is be persistent.  Help me find 4 or 5 families in every church in this nation to provide refuge for victims of abuse.

One way we are spreading the word about domestic violence is tweeting about it non-stop.  Would you ask all of your friends to donate one tweet a day to spread the word about what we are doing?  If so go to http://justcoz.org/napervillecc

Thanks for caring and listening.  Thanks, mostly, for what you will DO.  Let’s change this culture!




8 Responses to “Dream:2012”

  1. Barbara Roberts February 4, 2012 at 9:49 pm #

    Hi Neil
    You and others who are on this page with you will be interested in checking out these sites.
    Jeff Crippen, a pastor in Oregon, has a sermon series on domestic abuse:

    Anna Wood blogs on domestic abuse at:
    At the End Of Myself; At the Feet of Jesus

    Jeff and Anna are co-authoring a book called A Cry For Justice (aimed at getting the church to wake up to domestic abuse).
    As part of this joint project, they blog at at A Cry for Justice

    Morven R Baker, a counsellor, is doing lots on this too.

    And of course there’s my own site and blog and FB page, for those who want to go there too!

    All strength to your arm, Neil, and to everyone who is taking up this cause.

  2. Barbara Roberts February 4, 2012 at 9:55 pm #

    Here’s one more:
    Ida Mae (a survivor, coming up for air)
    Thoroughly Christian Divorce

  3. Peter Deppisch February 6, 2012 at 10:08 am #

    Yes – the churches need to change their attitude toward women and domestic violence. They need to preach publicly every day in whatever media outlets they can reach about domestic violence.
    I am a senior and small white faint letters on a black background makes it very difficult for me to read the text.

    • Neil Schori February 6, 2012 at 10:26 am #


      Thanks for your comments! I’m not sure why the blog is showing up that way on your computer. Could it be your settings? On mine, it is black letters on a white background.



      • Peter Deppisch February 6, 2012 at 11:23 am #

        Hi Neil,
        I am lookin at the right sidebar where you have “About me” and search and also the left sidebar. The main section is tradiitonal black on white and I can read it no problem.

  4. Neil Schori February 6, 2012 at 11:26 am #


    Gotcha…sorry. My confusion! I’ll look into fixing it now. Thank you!

  5. D Hart February 18, 2012 at 8:30 pm #

    I admire you all but over 20 yrs ago I went to a pastor to tell him that I was having a hard time “forgiving’ the person who raped me. The pastor was not trained to deal with all that I told him and he kept telling me I needed to forgive the rapist. After gaining my trust 5 yrs. later that same pastor raped me and when I went to the administrative counsel and later the legal system he said it was “misplaced agression’ and that I had imaged the entire thing. It totally crushed my spirit that he would “lie’ about it more than the physical act and so did his wife asking me to forgive him. The church conference called out their lawyers and me at the time a single mother even after finding a lawyer to take my case along with medical documentation, I ended up in the psych ward. I dropped the case because I did not think I could win. Fast forward the pastor is still preaching and everyone thinks I made the whole thing up. I have head countless stories that match mine. I would never advise anyone to go to a pastor or a church for help anymore. I volunteer at abuse shelters and give my use to be tithes to help support those causes. There’s no voice in the church they don’t want to hear it. I struggle with now that I am older of bringing it back before the church; but instead of spending money on legal fees to try to gain closure I help others. I never got an apology on lot of letters from the conferences saying “GOD will take care of the matter in the end and I should not embrasse the church”..I agree that without proper training when someone comes for help those in leadership should know how to “Recognize abuse, Respond to abuse, Refer those abused and deal with the abuser. If I had been a drug addict or adultress they would have helped me. I pray for the efforts of those here. Thank you for caring enough, I know there are still many hurting souls within the pews.

    • Barbara Roberts February 18, 2012 at 11:39 pm #

      Dear hurt one, I am so sorry for what you suffered. Shame on that church, that pastor, and all the leaders who covered it up and allied with the abuser.

      I understand how the lying and cover up were more painful for you than the actual crime. Most survivors who contact me say something similar, and it was true in my own case as well: The way the church DEALT with the allegations of abuse caused me more longlasting pain than the actual abuse itself.

      Your story illustrates how vital it is that church leaders get educated, PROPERLY educated, about this stuff.
      I believe many church leaders should be facing criminal charges for complicity with the crimes of others. As Lundy Bancroft says, the church is one of the most common places for abusers to enlist allies. This has to stop.
      I am glad you are working with victim survivors. Some of us are trying to change things in the church. We all have a part to play. Bless you, sister.

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