Comments for

Comment on Josh Powell and the Fulfillment of Narcissism by wildninja

wildninja — Thu, 23 Feb 2012 04:39:54 +0000

Neil, I’m sure you know, but there’s a pilot for a new show hosted by Susan Murphy Milano on YouTube and it discusses the Powell case with guests: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nJVpzrd5Vmk.

Comment on Dream:2012 by Barbara Roberts

Barbara Roberts — Sun, 19 Feb 2012 05:39:40 +0000

Dear hurt one, I am so sorry for what you suffered. Shame on that church, that pastor, and all the leaders who covered it up and allied with the abuser.

I understand how the lying and cover up were more painful for you than the actual crime. Most survivors who contact me say something similar, and it was true in my own case as well: The way the church DEALT with the allegations of abuse caused me more longlasting pain than the actual abuse itself.

Your story illustrates how vital it is that church leaders get educated, PROPERLY educated, about this stuff.
I believe many church leaders should be facing criminal charges for complicity with the crimes of others. As Lundy Bancroft says, the church is one of the most common places for abusers to enlist allies. This has to stop.
I am glad you are working with victim survivors. Some of us are trying to change things in the church. We all have a part to play. Bless you, sister.

Comment on Churches MUST become safe for #DV Victims by Neil Schori

Neil Schori — Sun, 19 Feb 2012 03:31:45 +0000

I sure have, Alice! I just met Paula this past week. Thanks for commenting…I believe we’ll most likely connect soon.

Neil

Comment on Dream:2012 by D Hart

D Hart — Sun, 19 Feb 2012 02:30:54 +0000

I admire you all but over 20 yrs ago I went to a pastor to tell him that I was having a hard time “forgiving’ the person who raped me. The pastor was not trained to deal with all that I told him and he kept telling me I needed to forgive the rapist. After gaining my trust 5 yrs. later that same pastor raped me and when I went to the administrative counsel and later the legal system he said it was “misplaced agression’ and that I had imaged the entire thing. It totally crushed my spirit that he would “lie’ about it more than the physical act and so did his wife asking me to forgive him. The church conference called out their lawyers and me at the time a single mother even after finding a lawyer to take my case along with medical documentation, I ended up in the psych ward. I dropped the case because I did not think I could win. Fast forward the pastor is still preaching and everyone thinks I made the whole thing up. I have head countless stories that match mine. I would never advise anyone to go to a pastor or a church for help anymore. I volunteer at abuse shelters and give my use to be tithes to help support those causes. There’s no voice in the church they don’t want to hear it. I struggle with now that I am older of bringing it back before the church; but instead of spending money on legal fees to try to gain closure I help others. I never got an apology on lot of letters from the conferences saying “GOD will take care of the matter in the end and I should not embrasse the church”..I agree that without proper training when someone comes for help those in leadership should know how to “Recognize abuse, Respond to abuse, Refer those abused and deal with the abuser. If I had been a drug addict or adultress they would have helped me. I pray for the efforts of those here. Thank you for caring enough, I know there are still many hurting souls within the pews.

Comment on Churches MUST become safe for #DV Victims by Alice

Alice — Fri, 17 Feb 2012 20:22:30 +0000

Hi Neil, Have you heard of FOCUS Ministries? Our main goal is to work with churches to educate them about domestic violence.

Check it out at http://www.focusministries1.org.

Comment on Churches MUST become safe for #DV Victims by Morven R. Baker

Morven R. Baker — Fri, 17 Feb 2012 18:18:30 +0000

You are so welcome, Neil.

Comment on Churches MUST become safe for #DV Victims by Neil Schori

Neil Schori — Fri, 17 Feb 2012 17:50:22 +0000

Thank you so much!

Comment on Churches MUST become safe for #DV Victims by deerlodgevista

deerlodgevista — Fri, 17 Feb 2012 17:07:37 +0000

Our victim advocate office just recently developed a relationship with our local ministerial association. I’m so impressed by the support we found among the group. One of the points we all agreed on was that divorce was never the most preferable option, but it is not the sin of the victim to leave the abuser since the abuser already broke their covenant by not loving the spouse as God instructed. (I didn’t come up with that myself… I read it in a book somewhere but I can’t remember what it was called! I’ll have to find it and post the title here–it really was a great resource to put domestic abuse in religious settings into perspective.)

Comment on Churches MUST become safe for #DV Victims by Morven R. Baker

Morven R. Baker — Fri, 17 Feb 2012 12:35:40 +0000

Reblogged this on Morven's Blog and commented: Just like the cream rises to the top, so this young man is sharing his heart for victims of domestic violence. Is your church willing to help? Spread the word. Please share this with your pastor. There are victims in his/her pews every Sunday, and they need the sanctuary that churches in history used to offer.

Comment on Churches MUST become safe for #DV Victims by Morven R. Baker

Morven R. Baker — Fri, 17 Feb 2012 12:32:38 +0000

In history, a person could run to the Church to find sanctuary. As long as they were inside, they were safe. How sad that no longer is the case. Instead, the victim is most often shamed, blamed and forced back ‘home’ into the arms of the one she fled.

Preach it, Neil. I’ve reposted this on my blog and on my FB page.